Clouds and Silver Linings!

Dear Larkin,

Little munchkin.  Mommy has had so much fun with you these past days.  Your smile melts my heart.

 I’ve loved going on walks around our alley, playing with playdough, watching you giggle as we throw Piper the ball and most of all watching you understand and respond more to daddy and me!  You now know and can point to your hair, eyes, nose, ears, mouth, teeth, belly button, foot, shoulders and (sometimes) knees.  In addition to that you can make the noises of animals when asked!  Those you don’t know you provide a hearty “roar” for.   These past few weeks are some of my favorite with you.  Maybe it’s just that I’m finally feeling more myself after a rough first trimester carrying your baby brother or sister, but I’m loving the bonding we have and I’m so thankful to be able to witness you in this season you’re in.  That, my little munchkin, is a blessing, and it is also the silver lining.  You see with every dark and ominous cloud in the sky there is a silver lining – a beautiful part of what might otherwise be described as solely a huge storm.

The storm in this case rolled in about 2 months ago at 17 months of age and has culminated the past two weeks in a lightning storm – a series of little Larkin strikes.

Strike- n. A refusal to work organized by a body of employees as a form of protest

Little munchkin.  You are your own little unique individual.  God says that He has prepared in advance the good works that you are to do throughout your life.  He has created your little personality in a precise and specific way to fulfill His purpose.  Lately, daddy and I sit back (exhausted) after a day full of “strikes” or tantrums and ask each other is this behavior a result of the toddler age you are at and your frustration at your inability to communicate, or a glimpse of some of your God given personality?  We’ve decided perhaps it’s some of each?! 

Currently you are on an 11 day strike from taking baths.  One day you loved your bath and took coaxing to get out and the next, “yikes!”   Initially when this happened I held you in the bathtub with one arm while you screamed and thrashed about and I tried to bathe you with the other arm.  Unfortunately I ended up mostly soaked and even a little sore (mommy isn’t as agile or strong now that she’s carrying another baby inside of her).  So now each night I still draw the bath and talk about how fun it would be to play with the new toys I recently put in there while we look on from the bath mat and you shiver from little baby goose bumps as sponge bath you.  Then night after night, mommy drains the warm bathtub water praying tomorrow night you will concede and want to get in.

Baths before - a distant memory but how cute is this!!
More recent bath time photos would be too dangerous to attempt!

You are also on about a one month “strike” from clothes.  I use this term more loosely here as clothes are of course more of a necessity so mommy and daddy usually win out, but you have been dressed in a lot more sweats lately.  Trying to put clothes on you is like trying to dress a slippery (and very angry) octopus.  We have gone on several outings without shoes and we have even missed a few play dates when the struggle was just not worth it.  Distractions of all sorts have been employed to no avail yet.  However, this morning for the first time in over a month as mommy was getting ready for bible study wondering if I should even bother to go as I did not want to battle dressing this morning and daddy was not here to help, you brought me your shoes and asked me to put them on you, and for the first time in I don’t know when you didn’t mind when I put your clothes on.  God still does part the red sea!  It was a miracle- a provision from Him on a morning I really needed it.

Here you did not want your pants on :)

Other “strikes” would probably be more accurately described as protests – Your carseat… You are just recently getting better about letting us strap you in and now more and more infrequently you are screaming through every red light.

However, the most difficult strike began this week.  You have grown a very sudden dislike for your highchair.  I’ve figured out most of these things include being confined – clothes, carseat, even baths and now the highchair.  As soon as we put you in it this week you have thrown the BIGGEST fits where mommy is afraid you will break the chair.  Any food that was on the tray ends up on the floor or on mommy’s clothes and the only solution I know to do (because we don’t want the habit to start of feeding you in our laps) is to have you go to bed without food.  So last night there was no dinner and no lunch for you today.  Fortunately your hunger this morning made breakfast too tempting to mind being in the high chair.

Mommy was seeing if the straps would help- they did not although I'm more and more worried you will break the tray and fall out when you're thrashing about!!

One of these at a time might be more bearable, but I have to remind myself this is a season! Recently fear creeps in when I start to think this is the new long- term normal. I begin to ask myself how I will cope when I have these challenges and your new baby brother or sister here too!  I know there will still be challenges (perhaps the same ones) but I’m hoping when you begin to talk it will at least help things a bit and regardless, I will say I am really being refined through these challenges, Larkin. 

  I am thankful for your unique personality, whatever it develops into.  Any parenting at all that blesses you or does anything right through these challenges and in this season is not of me, but the Lord and I want you to know that.  In mommy and daddy’s pride it’s easy to think we know the answers to something or how to control a situation, but you are the beautiful tool the Lord uses daily to break down that pride and keep us humble before Him.  I know the challenges will be different and in many cases even greater throughout our lives.  But there is a peace and freedom mommy finds in knowing in my weakness and mess-ups His strength and redemption are made perfect!  And He won’t leave either of us through any of these seasons we are in.  So we are in it together, munchkin!  Expect so many more mess ups and frustrations along the way! 

I’m so thankful for you little one.  You are mommy and daddy’s pride and joy.  You are wonderful and you are loved.  And you are also very free break these strikes at any point!  Mommy would very much approveJ