EATING OUT

Dear Larkin,
Dining out has a whole new meaning these days.  Gone are the evenings of uninterrupted eating where handing you Sophie would buy us a good half hour to finish our meals.  The past two weeks our dining experience has consisted of sitting down, several loud screams (yours of course), reaching frantically for forks, knives and full glasses followed by more screams when they can't be reached, a few stares and even an occasional annoyed comment from nearby diners who like to eat their meals in quiet and have perhaps forgotten what it is like to raise children, and then a shuffling of chairs as daddy and I take turns scarfing down our food alone while the other totes you around the restaurant in search of distractions.

I realize that dining with children changes EVERYTHING, but it has been quite impossible, or should I say, not worth it recently to take you out to dinner and I am hoping this is a little phase you are going through and eventually we can resume eating out in a more doable, albeit more crazy, atmosphere.  I will say that last night I took you to a dessert tasting with mommy and some other women and, although we had to leave early for your bedtime, while we were there you did much better!

And while I am bragging on you I musn't forget to tell you how proud I was of you this past week at BSF when I left lecture to nurse you.  You, my little man who is accustomed to noise makers and soft sheets and refuses to sleep in carseats or on mommy's lap, were out cold on a bare plastic mattress in a brightly lit room with 15 other screaming babies when I walked up the nursery this past Wednesday.  It was almost comical as I yelled over the other babies to the nursery worker asking where you were and she pointed to your little body - face up, out cold (she said you only slept for 10 minutes, but with those conditions, I am beyond impressed!)

You are precious, my little boy.  Sometimes I wonder if you really get how much I love you or if I'm doing a good job showing that to you in the way you understand it.  So many times at the end of the day, you are just so excited daddy's home (which I treasure watching) and he is so fun, I wonder if I must be a bore all day and if I am showing you in the right ways how much you are loved.  So....I will just keep taking care of you and loving you the best I know how and pray for patience in the moments that are exhausting, and the days that have more crying than smiles, trusting that God is making mommy a better mommy for you and a better tool for Him to use.

I love you so very much,
Mommy